Me:	Hello?
Telemarketer:	Hello, is your mother home?
Me:	I have no mother.
Her:	Well can I speak to your father?
Me:	Yeah, which one?
Her:	Which one is home?
Me:	Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her:	Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me:	No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her:	So who's Antonio?
Me:	I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her:	So Carlos was cheating?
Me:	Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her:	So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me:	No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her:	So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me:	I never said that.
Her:	Yes, yes you did!
Me:	No I didn't.
Her:	Y-yes! You did!
Me:	Did what?
Her:	Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.

Unwritten.

‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*